She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
The cops high fived after they tackled you
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
