i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
