Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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