I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
