she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
