Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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