Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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