Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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