I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
