yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
they call him Oral-B. enough said
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Randomize
