break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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