do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
