there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
