considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
