I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
