i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
