Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
