We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
