My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
My vagina is very pro this idea
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
