i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
