So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
