Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
