Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
