this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
