after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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