Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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