i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
