dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
