Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
