We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
