why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
