I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Send help, water and tortillas.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
