does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I had to cum in my sink.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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