Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
