I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
