C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
