So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
