I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
