are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
