I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
