Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Shame - the story of my life.
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