he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
