She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
