I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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