I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
