So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
