You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
