And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
