Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
porn star boner night. come get it.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
