I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
