im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
It's just like the Real World with babies
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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